Or maybe better yet how did I get here from there? I used to be so confident, and I believed with ever fiber of who I am that with hard work I could be not only one of our nations best, but challenge nearly anyone in the world when it came to the marathon. Then October 3rd 2010 rolls around and I find myself in the midst of an amazing opportnity jogging. Mearly a fitter looking image of the girl I used to be. My head was somewhere else that day, and everyday I can remember in 2010. I've run PR's, had some of the best workouts of my life and have a team of people behind me like I've never had, and then hiccup...I loose the one thing that made me beat people in the past. My unwavering belief that this pitter patter of shoes on the street was my domain, the place I turned heads, and learned to dream, my ticket to remaining "peter pan", just gone? But how, where, and more importantly, how do I get it back?
As I lace up my shoes this coming week and begin the journey to sacramento where ill race the california international marathon on december 5th, I have a goal that doesn't involve numbers. I have to find the girl I lost somewhere in the fringes. I'm going to have to dig deeper than I ever have to pull her out of wherever she is burried, and remind her I need her.
Well call her confidence. I've never wanted something more. The road may be long to find her again, but ill lace up, and you better believe I won't be looking back.
The quest for the oly trials A standard starts now, confidence...I'm looking for you.