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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Running, Panic, and Great Friends

Things have continued to progress on all fronts here in the Spellman house!  The little ones are growing and so is my weekly mileage!  Getting out to run is a great stress relief.  Running has always been more of something I felt I had to do, and while I loved it, the more stressed I was, the less I wanted to run.  THAT HAS CHANGED!!  The more stressed the little amazing buggers around here make me, the more I enjoy every step and can't wait to start chasing after my goals! 

For now running is slow going, but it IS GOING!!  My running last week was 15 miles in 4 days of running. 
Monday-Brisk 1 mile walk with Pegasus
Tuesday-3 miles 8:43 pace (hilly)
Wednesday-3 miles 8:05 pace
Thursday- 4 miles 8:04 pace
Friday- off
Saturday- 5 miles LONG RUN!  Ran with Ryan while the kids were with his parents.  8:24 pace

I have a lot of shoes to run though!
The kids are growing and are 8 lbs each!  They have had great nights, and some rough ones.  I was exhausted toward the end of the week and that lead to a lot of tears.  I struggled wondering how long I would feel tired, and how to get them to sleep well.  I feel like I have lost myself a lot.  I found myself really missing Ryan an my simple life prior to kids.  I hated the way that I felt. I love these kids, I absolutely adore them.  So why was I feeling this way?! This feeling only served to make me panic more, and worry about my ability to be a good mom. Poor Ryan did all he could to comfort me and make me feel loved and appreciated. Early this week Jeanine Booker, a friend, and fellow new mom (her little man is 7 months old), stopped by and gave me such peace of mind.  She was here for approximately 8 minutes and in that short of a time, I felt significantly better.  She asked how I was doing and I said "Ok, tired, but I am hanging in there".  She read through my bull, and simply said, "It does get easier Beck, I promise." She told me it is completely normal to feel sad, stressed, and tired.  That was all I needed.  Hearing it from someone who was so recently in my shoes, and who I love, trust and know they know me through and through was the most comforting feeling I can remember in the past month.  

Andrea was in town from Baton Rouge and helped me take some 1 month pic of the little Spelltwins. 

It was great to see friends, and I loved having the help!

Ferf and Annie with Nolie and Corra.
As this week is moving along I am feeling much better and handling my new position as a mom with a little less fear, and stress!  I went to the Dr. yesterday and got the 100% go ahead on running!  He gave me a bit of a glare when I told him I started running "lightly" 2 weeks ago.  But everything looks good and I am excited to continue to chase down my running dreams and work hard on being the mom my kids need and deserve!  A few less tears this week are a welcomed reprieve from last week!  Thank you so much Ferf, Annie, and Jeanine for helping me feel a little more like myself!  

We have 52 days until the Akron 1/2 Marathon and my goal of 7:00 pace seems like it may be realistic.  I can't wait to see how training goes! 


  1. You are doing amazing running with the twins so young. Reading your post gave me flashbacks of when my twins were born. It is HARD!! I had the same feelings as you did...exhaustion, weepy, overwhelmed but totally in love with them too. Your friend is right, it does get easier..much easier. When they are this young and not sleeping well it is the most challenging time. Hang in there. I'm so impressed with your running and balancing it all!

    1. Thanks Kristen! Everyone says it gets easier! I look forward to those days! haha!